Just a quick one

I just wanted to say thanks everyone for your loving concern, thoughts and prayers over the last little while. We're getting there... gradually my energy levels are increasing and I'm feeling more normal. Also on Friday we had good news after Alastair's dad's appointment with his specialist: he's been given the all-clear, the pathology results were fine! Apparently this specialist has never seen anything like what Peter had and said he's a very lucky man. It's clear that it was a load on Peter's shoulders, as he's much more chirpy now, which is good to see. :)

Alastair shared this article by Tim Challies with me earlier, and I thought it was really insightful. I look forward to the day when I can demonstrate what I consider to be "real" hospitality (the kind I would be able to show if I had my own house, with more than two rooms in it!)... but it's been a good thing to think about even in our granny flat situation. :)

http://www.challies.com/christian-living/inconvenienced-by-inconvenience?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

And lastly I just want to share a couple of Puritan prayers I came across the other day:

Unmask to me sin's deformity,
   that I may hate it, abhor it, flee from it...
Let me never forget that the heinousness of sin
   lies not so much in the nature of the sin committed, 
      as in the greatness of the person sinned against.

Grant me never to lose sight of
   the exceeding sinfulness of sin,
   the exceeding righteousness of salvation
   the exceeding glory of Christ,
   the exceeding beauty of holiness,
   the exceeding wonder of grace. 

In a fog

Not sure exactly what I want to write here... it's been a strange few weeks...

I guess I'll just give you the short version.

August:

• Thursday 23rd to Sunday 26th we went out to Gilgandra and spent the weekend helping Alastair's brother and sister-in-law get their house cleaned up and ready to put on the market. It was a massive weekend, I came home exhausted and aching in all sorts of places I never knew I had.
• Monday 27th I did a pregnancy test and got a positive result - I was 5 weeks pregnant, and we were so excited! Baby due 30th April 2013.
• Tuesday 28th - rang the hospital to book in to the Wollongong Hospital Midwives Group Program. If you don't get in early you miss out.
• Wednesday 29th went to the Dr and had all the routine blood tests you get done when you find out you're pregnant... but then that afternoon started bleeding.
• Thursday 30th - Anthea's 1st birthday. Went to ladies bible study in the morning and asked them to pray for me and the new baby because I was worried I was having a miscarriage.
• Friday 31st - had to drop Alastair in town early, then dropped Annie off at my mother's group before going to pick Alastair's dad up from a Dr's appointment (he had been in hospital with a gall bladder attack the week before)... turns out he'd had some bad news: there was a tumour on the gall bladder which has attached itself to his liver (which is 3.4cm - having grown from 3mm a couple of months ago), as well as a cyst in one of his kidneys, so he's waiting for a specialist appointment now. Then I got back to mother's group 10 mins before it ended and fell to pieces, thankfully in a place where the people know me well. Alastair came home at lunchtime to look after me and Annie, as we were pretty sure it was a miscarriage.
• Saturday 1st/Sunday 2nd - a quiet weekend thankfully, with Father's Day as well. My parents and sister came down for lunch, so that was really nice.

Most of September has been a bit of a blur, (my birthday included), miscarriage confirmed, Anthea's 12 month immunisations... all sorts of stuff. Such a strange time, with such a lot of mixed feelings and emotions. It feels like a fog.... a surreal sort of feeling. I wanted to talk about it, but didn't want to hear any more of the trite "your baby was not meant for this world" or "perhaps it was deformed/handicapped" comments which people seem to think are comforting. I do have a few lovely friends who actually just listened when I needed to talk though, so that is a blessing. And now life goes on...