It's been too long

I never know how to begin, after a long break from blogging... especially when there's so much to say and catch up on!

So I'm going to start by sharing something that happened tonight which made my heart melt... or sing... I'm not sure which. I just tucked Annie into bed, and whispered a goodnight prayer with her (about the day we'd had, the friends we'd seen, and asking God for a peaceful sleep). And then when I'd finished, she tightly screwed up her eyes and whispered "Papa, Sasha, Bubba, fishies, puppies... Eli... Meaghy... Amem" and then opened her eyes and smiled at me. She just prayed her first prayer! It was beautiful.

Our new baby boy, James Peter, arrived on Friday 21st June, (birth story to come at a later date... if I ever get to it). We love him to bits - Anthea loves him maybe a little too much! :) He'll be seven weeks old on Friday... the time goes very quickly these days. I'm loving being a mum of two, but still struggling to find time to accomplish anything more than basic necessities. More on that later too maybe.

For now though, I'll leave you with a few photos.

 

In a fog

Not sure exactly what I want to write here... it's been a strange few weeks...

I guess I'll just give you the short version.

August:

• Thursday 23rd to Sunday 26th we went out to Gilgandra and spent the weekend helping Alastair's brother and sister-in-law get their house cleaned up and ready to put on the market. It was a massive weekend, I came home exhausted and aching in all sorts of places I never knew I had.
• Monday 27th I did a pregnancy test and got a positive result - I was 5 weeks pregnant, and we were so excited! Baby due 30th April 2013.
• Tuesday 28th - rang the hospital to book in to the Wollongong Hospital Midwives Group Program. If you don't get in early you miss out.
• Wednesday 29th went to the Dr and had all the routine blood tests you get done when you find out you're pregnant... but then that afternoon started bleeding.
• Thursday 30th - Anthea's 1st birthday. Went to ladies bible study in the morning and asked them to pray for me and the new baby because I was worried I was having a miscarriage.
• Friday 31st - had to drop Alastair in town early, then dropped Annie off at my mother's group before going to pick Alastair's dad up from a Dr's appointment (he had been in hospital with a gall bladder attack the week before)... turns out he'd had some bad news: there was a tumour on the gall bladder which has attached itself to his liver (which is 3.4cm - having grown from 3mm a couple of months ago), as well as a cyst in one of his kidneys, so he's waiting for a specialist appointment now. Then I got back to mother's group 10 mins before it ended and fell to pieces, thankfully in a place where the people know me well. Alastair came home at lunchtime to look after me and Annie, as we were pretty sure it was a miscarriage.
• Saturday 1st/Sunday 2nd - a quiet weekend thankfully, with Father's Day as well. My parents and sister came down for lunch, so that was really nice.

Most of September has been a bit of a blur, (my birthday included), miscarriage confirmed, Anthea's 12 month immunisations... all sorts of stuff. Such a strange time, with such a lot of mixed feelings and emotions. It feels like a fog.... a surreal sort of feeling. I wanted to talk about it, but didn't want to hear any more of the trite "your baby was not meant for this world" or "perhaps it was deformed/handicapped" comments which people seem to think are comforting. I do have a few lovely friends who actually just listened when I needed to talk though, so that is a blessing. And now life goes on...

Birth and aftermath

I'll try to keep it brief...

Monday 29th August, I stayed in bed... my legs and feet were swollen (well, more than they had been in the few weeks prior), I had a headache, and I just felt generally unwell. By 3pm I thought I should call my midwife to see what she thought, and she told me to come in for a check-up. I called Alastair and asked him to come home and get me, and we were at the hospital by 4pm. By the time the blood tests, monitoring, and an internal examination were done it was after 6pm, and I'd started having regular contractions (probably from the VE). We went home, and wondered if it was for real... prepared though for it not to be, as I'd had a few hours of contractions on the Friday and Saturday before...

By 11pm I really hoped it was the real thing, as it was getting uncomfortable and they weren't letting up. However it just felt like period pain, not the enormous "tightening" of the uterus and my stomach going as hard as a rock. I had a shower (since we don't have a bath), and knelt on my thongs to allow the warm water to run straight onto my back. At 2.30am we rang the midwife who was on call to let her know what was going on, she said we were doing well, and to call when we wanted to go in to the hospital. Alastair had snatched an hour of sleep between 1-2am, and then managed another hour between 3am and 4am. Then he had a shower, and I collected the last few things I wanted to take to hospital. We called the midwife again, who said I'd done very well, and that she'd call my primary midwife and get her to meet us at the hospital.

We arrived just before 5am and Linda (my midwife) arrived about 15 minutes later. When she saw me on my knees beside the bed in the assessment room, she decided to skip the assessment as she said she could see that I was in labour. :) Birthing Unit Room 2 was available (the biggest room, and the only one with a bath!) so we went in there, I hopped up on the bed, and Linda discovered that I was 6cm dilated. :) She asked if I'd like her to break my waters, and said that if she did, the contractions would become much more "efficient"... good word! They certainly did - but still basically just like period pain, not what I was expecting.

I was in the bath when Alastair remembered that we were parked in the ambulance zone... so he went to move the car and get himself some breakfast. :) While he was gone, I suddenly felt like I was overheating and had to get out of the bath. The cordless monitors I had on my kept losing their signal because I was moving around, (and I had to be monitored because of the meconium that had been present when my waters were broken), so Linda suggested I hop out of the bath, and she wanted to put a clip on the baby's head. I was a little scared at that, but had little energy to protest. When I was on the bed and Linda checked me out before putting the clip on, she said "Oh, I can see your baby's head! Let's not worry about the clip and just push this baby out!" at which moment Alastair walked in with hashbrowns and a chocolate shake for me. :) He's so sweet to think of me, and had no idea I'd be so far along (although I was never going to be able to eat McDonalds at any time during the labour!).

Apparently I pushed for about an hour and a half... it didn't feel that long. I guess I was just thinking about each one as it came. As the baby's head crowned, I felt my perineum pop, and knew I'd torn. :( But then our dear little girl was born, and the previous hours were forgotten about as we looked at her and cuddled her. We named her Anthea, for Alastair's stillborn sister who was born 28 years ago, and her middle name is Grace because we thought it sounded nice with Anthea... although it is my grandmother's middle name too. :)

While they were checking Anthea out and everything, the doctor came in and said I'd have to go in for a general anaesthetic to have the 3rd degree tear repaired. This, to the girl who has never had a filling in a tooth or anything!!! So that was a bit scary, but I was so tired, no tears came. I wanted to have a shower before the op, so Alastair helped me to the bathroom. Lucky he was there, as I hemorrhaged and went into a faint. He and the midwives got me back to the bed, and then I was wheeled away for surgery. It wasn't much fun... the anaesthetists weren't very friendly, and they tell my blood count was so low (after losing nearly 2 litres of blood) that I had to have a transfusion. I was supposed to be back on the ward in about 2 hours, but it ended up being nearly 5 hours... poor Alastair, he'd had Anthea all day, and hadn't been able to find out where I was or what was going on with me, and he was nearly beside himself. :( But then we were all back together (albeit in a lot of pain), and then our families arrived to meet our little daughter. I was so out of it, and I see photos taken from that night that just make me shudder. The first day was not cool.

When Alastair had to go home that night I cried... I was so sore... I couldn't move or adjust myself... I lost my buzzer... I couldn't pick up my baby when she cried... it was awful.

But each day got easier and was better than the one before it. I only had one horrible nurse, all the rest were just delightful. It was so so so wonderful to come home on the Friday afternoon (2nd Sept), and sleep in my own bed. The first couple of nights were a bit rough, but we're working on that - the last three nights Annie has slept for 6 hours in a row! :)

I've just typed and typed and typed... and cried and cried remembering that first day. I'm not going to proof this as we've got visitors coming soon and I just wanted to let you know what happened.

And I'll leave you with a photo of my cutie... she makes me so happy! :)

No baby yet...

Yesterday was the due date... and as yet, there is nothing happening. :P I'm so impatient, and so ready, but it's wonderful to know that God has it all sorted out. :) There isn't really much else to report. This week has felt long... I think it's the waking up each morning thinking "oh well, I didn't go into labour last night... but maybe sometime today!!!" and the going to bed each night thinking "oh well, I didn't go into labour today, but maybe I'll be woken up by contractions tonight!"

The weekend has been restful. Alastair sorted ALL my thousands of emails that were sitting in my inbox (and have been for years), and then did his. He's so good at that sort of thing. :) And my family visited yesterday for tea, which was lots of fun and we enjoyed lots of laughs. We played Scattergories... my Dad is hilarious - he kills me. :)

And to finish, just photos of the two cot quilts I managed to get the binding on last week:





Hopefully next time I post, I'll have NEWS and PHOTOS OF A BABY!!!!! :)

Still intact

Just letting you know I'm still here, still in once piece. Normal life has become quite uncomfortable... I just potter around. :)

Last weekend we went to our friend Emily's 4th birthday party. :) At her 2nd and 3rd birthdays, I was able to participate in the jumping castle fun - but not this time. :P Came home and finished cleaning the house (which had been a work in progress all week - only had vacuuming and mopping downstairs to go) but that landed me with a bit of a sore back.

We also went to Sydney to see Alastair's Uncle Jonathan who just got back from a five week trip around Europe. He showered us with gifts, but that didn't make up for the long and uncomfortable car trip... no more trips to Sydney for now. The furthest I will go is to Mum and Dad's, because at least there I know I can sit, lie, rest, relax, find a heat pack, whatever I need.

So now we don't have any more plans for anything before bubby's due date (27th), and at almost 38 weeks, that's really quite a relief. :) AND, I have finally got my hospital bag packed! I've been meaning to do it for a few weeks now, but wanted to buy some new pjs for the hospital and stuff. Anyway, it's finally organised, and I'm sooo excited! Come on baby, any time now! Sooner rather than later if possible!!!

My feet are terribly swollen... like, really bad. And they down go down overnight. :( Actually, I'm retaining fluid from the knees down. Hang on... my thighs are enormous too, make that from the hips down. :P Oh, my stomach is bigger than normal too, I'm swollen from the chest down.... oh hang on.... the chest area is pretty swollen too..... swollen from the neck down. Face is pretty puffy too.... far out. My whole body is just fat and swollen!!!!!!

Learning curves (not talking about my tummy)

I've managed to start taking it a bit easy these last couple of weeks... I've just been so tired! I realised that, since finishing work, I'd had so many things I wanted to do that I'd been putting off "til I finished work", that I was just wanting to plough through my To-Do List and cross everything off. However, in my quite-pregnant state, everything was taking me longer than I expected and I was getting more tired than I expected. Suffice to say, a couple of meltdowns later I worked that out, so now I just set myself one or two jobs a day. It's strange to have to adjust ones expectations of oneself. Also, my level of productivity is lower than usual, which is hard for me to handle...

Anyhow, so now I'm a much more peaceful human being, and I've come to realise that it's okay that my floor needs vacuumming and it's okay that I don't have the energy to do it today. :)

Mum and Meaghan planned me a beautiful baby shower on 16th July - it was such a fun day, and I felt very blessed by all my wonderful family and friends!

I made cupcakes:



Meaghan made fairy bread:



This is a game we played - a race to drink the water from the sipper cups:



A not-brilliant shot of some of the guests and Alastair's streamer-hanging-skills:



And Dad and I afterwards, comparing tummies:



* * * * *

We stayed with Mum and Dad that night, and the next day went to watch the Swans play Fremantle... which was dismal. We might have won, if not for some very dodgy umpiring. Anyhow, it was there that I decided that was my last game for this year... it was cold... the seats are hard... I ended up with a sore back... etc. So Alastair took Dad to the one on Saturday just gone (Bulldogs) and they had a great time together - and it's always much nicer when your team wins. :) We had yummy Thai for tea when they got home for Dad's birthday (which was on Monday). :)

I've had the opportunity to do some sewing since I last posted... I made two little patchwork cot quilts (which are off at the quilters' and I forgot to take a photo before they left so you'll have to wait til they come back!)... and a gift for Debbie (who gave us all the baby stuff, and whose birthday it was the day of my baby shower). I was really pleased with how all my projects turned out... it's so good to have time to be creative! :)



And that's about it really... a Mother's Group is being started up at church this Friday morning, so I'm going to go along to that and see how it goes.

I'm just shy of 36 weeks now... and getting to the bit-uncomfortable stage... the baby has been going crazy when I rest on the couch after tea each night, doing massive kicks/punches/rolls/whatever takes its fancy! I can't wait to meet this little personality! But it's still all so surreal................

Three weeks just fly by

My cough still hasn't gone away, but I've been told it could hang around for 8-12 weeks. Ah well... my Glucose Tolerance Test (for gestational diabetes) came back normal, so I shouldn't complain.

Mum and Dad have arrived home safely from their month in New York with Lachlan, and it was really good to see them. We stayed up there for the weekend after they came back and heard all about the trip... and were showered with gifts! Especially the baby... little suits and socks from the M & M's store in NY, amongst other things!

I had a bit of a car accident last Thursday on my way to work... no one was hurt (just my pride), and not much damage was done (none to our car!). I was stopped at a roundabout and bent down to get a tissue and my foot must have come off the brake... obviously in an automatic you're in drive, and drive it did - into the back of a lovely black car. :P But the lady was lovely to me. Now we just have to pay them $300 so they can have the scratch buffed out... :P

On Saturday night we went to Donna's for tea and a movie. Mairead and Hamish are getting really excited about the baby and started brainstorming names. Mermaids and fairies are pretty popular in that house, so the names that were coming out were things like "Emerald", "Sapphire", "Crystal Light", etc. Mairead thought that Daniel would be a good name for a boy. Hamish (just turned 4) then piped up "and if it is a baby girl, you could call her Compatimpy!" We all laughed - and he burst into tears, poor child. :) Mairead tried to make him feel better, "yeah Hamish, that's a good name! Compatimpy Wilson sounds nice!" :)

Then, cutest of all... later we were sitting on the couch ready for the movie, and the kids had been feeling the baby kick. Hamish said "can I tell the baby something?" "Of course!", I said. He put his face close to my tummy and said gently, "I love you baby." Awww!!! Isn't that just adorable?!?! :)

So I'm in my 3rd-last week of work now... it's cool. Two more days of teaching, 11 more days of pharmacy... my feet will be soooo happy!

Btw, in case you wanted to know, I cooked really really yummy veal schnitzel last night - crumbed it myself and everything. :)

Not whooping cough, and lots of purchases

So I've had trouble shaking this cold... and was coughing so badly last week that Alastair made me take Friday off work and go to the doctor... who decided that I needed to be swabbed for whooping cough... which meant a whole lot of running around, anitbiotics to be safe, and Tuesday off work too... end of the story is that I don't have whooping cough, I just need to wait til this silly cough goes away.

We've bought a few things for the baby this week... it's sooooo exciting! A new pram... a cot mattress... hooray! We also bought a new vacuum cleaner - a Dyson! It's A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!! :) So our savings are a bit depleted now, but we're very happy with our bargains.

Also, my darling sister has bought us a beautiful glider (nursing chair) which is just amazing. I don't know how to thank her! Maybe lots of cuddles with her niece/nephew will suffice....? :)

Photos

My 25 week baby bump. :)

Another ultrasound pic!

23.5 weeks old!